Waiting On Wimberley

Welcome to the Everfree podcast. This is season two, episode two: Waiting on Wimberly. Hey, guys, welcome back to the next second episode season two, we're back. Yes, we did that last time waiting on Wimberly. We called it this way to deal with “why do we call this waiting?” Because this episode, in the last episode, we shared that we transitioned from Montana, we got the word of knowledge about Wimberley, Texas.

And now we're in Spicewood. We're with my parents. It's going as well as it could, dogs and animals in tow, and they're very gracious. I took over the cooking for the family, because I had to do something to help. And I have a couple of strong memories of that time. But before I get into that, I want to say, I'm gonna direct us to the first real blessing. First real blessing. I don't even tell you where I was going with this. But I think you know where!  My job! Yes, ma'am. She knows me. See that, y'all. She's a good one. Lucky. She's not my Starter Wife. This is my final life. Yeah, so what happens, right? So, in Montana, you are in a profession that everybody loves and needs help with but can't find a job. And then we roll up with the trucks, take 4th of July holiday off. And then Monday morning, Tuesday morning, whatever morning it was, you jump online and you find river kids, man, I always say, if I were to design a website that would describe what I do and why I do it, River kids nailed it. And so when I read their website, I was almost in tears. And I showed you their website. And I was like, nobody does this. Nobody talks about their faith in Jesus in a business. Yeah, they're not proselytizing, with the business, per se. But like, they're like, this is who we are. This is the ethics and the character behind who we are. And I was like, that's too good to be true, right? And so I met with the director of therapy, and I connected with her immediately, and knew without a shadow of a doubt, Stephanie, that this was exactly where the Lord was calling me to as a speech therapist. And it was a huge relief to have something stable and reliable. And just to clear, yes, because we had so many unknowns, that at least I knew that this was a fit. And I'd never doubted that. And I'm still with River kids. And it's the best. It's the best place I've ever been for my profession.

Well, and what I loved about it, and we didn't know it at the time, so the job was about 45 minutes. Yeah, my parents house where we were living in Austin, Texas. And all of these, by the way, if you're not from Texas: Austin is blowing up, you probably know that wherever you live. Joe Rogan just moved to Texas and in the Austin area, Elon Musk and his whole crew is got a plant down there. So, everybody knows Austin is blowing up. And so what's happened is the infrastructure is so crazy, that anybody who works anywhere, even if you live close to your job, everybody knows to go from point A to point B is going to take you about an hour, or 45 minutes, if you're lucky, maybe 30 minutes. So when we got there, having lived in Bozeman, where everything was five minutes, we were like, geez louise, but it was God actually preparing the way for Wimberly, as we're waiting on Wimberly, let me throw that in there. Because you got used to driving into the office. That's right. And tell me about that transition, because you got hired to be a therapist, which is what you did you were home health therapist, you'd go to see kids elementary age and younger, help them with their speech needs. But tell our friends here on the podcast, what was that transition? Because you get the job to be a therapist, and then what did they offer you?

They basically said I was going to be a full time speech therapist and they said, we need an assistant director. And we're offering that though you actually were in line to do the therapy and you started doing therapy. I carried a girl's caseload while she was away. She was traveling, and I did take care of some kids for her and worked with them. And I love it. But I can't turn my job off. When I start working with a family. I'm invested in the child and the family and I dream about them and comes home. Yeah, I can't shut it off.

And so if I remember it, right, so that you do that, right. And then they're like, hey, by the way, since you're building a caseload, you can come for you know, an hourly rate of something. Come work in the office, get some hours, learn the culture, get to know some people.

That's how I remember that's exactly right. Yeah, yeah. So, in that time, they were needing a new assistant director. And they handed me the baton and said, do you want it? And I didn't know what it even meant to be an assistant director. No, I didn’t. But it has been such a phenomenal place for me to be the culture of the office and where I work. It's the first time in my career that I'm not carrying a caseload. But I do carry the therapists that work for us and care for them. And honestly, the drive in to Austin, for my job is part of my ministry. I'm praying for our therapists and our families and our company, and also praying for people that we pray for through Everfree. Yeah, right.

So you had offered your time to people to hey, if you have a question Voxer me or Marco, me. And you're like doing that all the time? Yeah, the communication apps are huge for ministry, so I can use them on the drive. And we have people from all over the world, and our missions organization. So it's helpful to have communication app where I can leave a message, but I love the drive. I feel like it's like my little mobile prayer station, where I just got to drive and pray and find a way to write off your cars. I know, it's tough to work on that. Anybody a tax advisor out there, help me out with that,

Hey, you drive a lot. So okay, so you're getting connected, you're driving 45 minutes back and forth. I in that season, I'm like, well, first of all, take that job. Now. I'm kind of doing the math, right, because I'm the bills guy in the house. And so I'm like, Hey, how much did you get paid for that visit? Okay, and how much time do you spend driving? Okay, how many miles do you drive between clients, okay. And I was like, what are they offering you? Right? And you're like, well, they want me to give them a proposal. So it's like, well, this is a good opportunity. So we put some numbers together. And I ran it. I was like, well, if you know, let's just figure out what your hourly charge is, by the time you do the driving and the therapy and the at home and all the stuff, figured out what that rate was, I bumped it up a little bit, thinking, okay, ask for, you know, everything and see, you know, counteroffer and they were very generous it was, it wasn't ridiculous what I was asking on your behalf, but it was very generous to them. Great. Love to have you. Awesome. This is great. It's stable. It's knowing that the income isn't going to come and go with your clients coming and going. It was stable in that you had one drive. And then when you're, you know, the phones turn off, email turns, everything turns. I mean, you're still thinking about your people, because you love your office. But as far as the actual work, right, I could see the boundaries being way better. And as Everfree was growing for my not just husband, but visionary leader of the ministry, I was thinking I need I need more of your time. Right. So that was a blessing.

So I work three days a week in Austin for River kids, and then two days a week I'm fully Everfree. So  it's good for us because we have the balance of both.

Yeah, Everfree, well any kind of ministry is never a nine to five job, right? So she hits a homerun! It's great that she gets the nine to five, if you will, three days a week to have that structure and that and then the other four days a week, between your prayers coming and going. It's a full time job with Everfree.  So that's, that's a blessing that we can do that.

So you're doing that. And the pictures coming to my mind now as we're talking about the story is, fortunately, in Texas, it's hot, y'all. It's hot. And fortunately, my parent’s neighborhood had a neighborhood pool. And so my journey of healing began at that pool. I don't even know if we've talked about this. Yeah, well, you knew I was doing it because they're like, “what are you doing today?” I'm like, I'm going to the pool. Like, that's it.  You were the job at that time, really, and for Everfree, I need to unpack my wounding here, because how can I lead others into freedom and healing, if I'm not attentive to my own brokenness? And so, at that time, we were not doing regular appointments. We were doing some here and there. We hadn't really set up the website for the regularity of prayer appointments in the way that we kind of have now but I remember sitting at the pool, and just by myself. And most of the time, there was nobody even at the pool; I was there odd hours, like either first thing in the morning or afternoons where I could take a dip kind of cool off. The kids were off running around doing whatever. But I was just sitting with the journal and I can picture being there and calling a couple of wise people both in Novo. My team leader at the time was a guy named Gary Mays, and he was a great; he's not old enough to be my father. So Gary, Gary, I love you. You're not that old buddy here but he fathered me right in that mentoring way and no one really gave me the space that I needed at that time. To kind of rework and revamp, like, what is, what is Everfree going to become, because Everfree was the sidecar ministry to our primary function in Dallas of doing this mission of life, transforming lives through prayer and power encounters and healing stuff through the neighbors like that. The whole thing was like, Let's plant this community that multiplies, that disciples. When we get this ever, what does that mean? Do we just do prayer appointments? So that was a really good healing season for me.

I thought, Okay, any minute now, the house is gonna sell. We kept going down to Wimberley and other places and every time we went to Wimberley, it was like the Lord was like, yep. You heard me correctly. Wimberly. And so, we've been waiting on Wimberley, waiting on Wimberley waiting for this house to sell. And another contract would come in, and now it's the fall, another contract will come in, and now it's Christmas, another contract and it will kind of like, I mean, talk about being fatigued and frustrated. Now, the kids have completed a whole semester in a school system that they're not gonna stay in. And I'm like, Man, this is just another transition my kids to deal with. And so finally, January rolls around, I'm getting a clearer picture of Wimberly, getting a clearer picture of whatever Everfree is becoming, start moving from a limp to a solid walk. Now, the journey of faith -- and you found a great church, to check out in Wimberley. So, we started checking them out and driving 45 minutes from where our parents lived on a whim was about 45 minutes. We kept checking that out. And it was the first place that I felt safe. Yeah. And it was a very wonderful place to find some healing. I met with a pastor and I was wounded. And I said, Man, I need to tell you who we are and what we're about. Because if your church can't support us, I don't need to be rejected again, just tell me now, I don't want to get invested here. And he was great. It was amazing place to start worshiping again, in a community. Our community is global. We have lots of prayer warriors and friends that are our church. Those are our people; they are our Band of Brothers all around the world. But to find a place to get started again was good. And so again, like one of the things that I remember, in the transition as the Lord was leading us out of Montana, then was I kept hearing him say, and I had this written in my journal actually not even that far after the whole Wimberley thing. It's going to be better than you think.

And I heard for January 2020, that there was all this prophecy going on about a double portion and how it was, there's so much going on about the excitement of 20 double 20s. Yeah, sometimes people get excited about this thing. I know. And I jumped right on that I was super excited. So here we are, right. And I've been hearing this, um, I'm waiting and I'm trusting in the Lord's provision, or at least trying to; some days are good. Some days I want to, you know, beat something up. And I know that in my mind, Wimberley was gonna be a season of rest and recovery. It's a healing place.

So, Wimberley is a beautiful little town. It's in the hill country of Texas, which is a very beautiful. Texas has a lot of interesting culture and beauty. But it's a very unique place in the whole country. And there's a crystal clear blue Canyon Lake, which is a reservoir, they come from these major aquifers. There's a really fantastic thing called Jacobs. Well, it's this natural phenomenon. You can find that on the web. Jacobs, well, Texas, and it'll show you that pretty cool pictures of that everywhere in the world. And then, so I'm hearing and sensing when the Lord's telling me for about a year, it's going to be better than you think. Like, Okay, Lord, I'm trusting in this. We're not there yet. But in my mind, I'm like, as soon as we get to Wimberley, it's going to be fine. Like that's where it's going to begin, like I just waiting on lemonade. Just got to get to Wimberley. And I feel like that's the home stretch, right? We're gonna get there and it's gonna be fine. And so we do right finally sell the house. We lose a ton of money. But we're like, we just gotta go; let's just make up the house if we didn't dump it. I mean, but it hurt.

We can't find a house can't buy a house. Well, that was yeah, that was a part of it. Right? Because there were just there weren't enough. It's a wonderful community. But there were not a lot of four bedroom houses. And we needed that fourth bedroom for the kids. And so we looked and we'd seen different houses come and go and all that stuff. And now this is right in 2020. This is like right before COVID. That's right. We didn't know obviously COVID was coming. But we're like okay, let's go find a house we like. Literally, two weeks later, the kids, because of the church that you found, you found this retreat to do. I brought the kids down to the retreat? You were traveling. We were I don't remember where you went, I don't know.

I think I was working.

No, no, no, no, you were doing a Wimberly. You know, I was picking it from the airport, the weekend, you had gone away to maybe back in Bozeman, or I don't know, but you were off for the weekend. And I was, I didn't want to take the kids to this retreat. I'm like, I was so beat up as a dad. I'm like, this is a church. They don't know. This is people they don't know, to take them to a town that they don't know. They don't want to go. I don't want to. I just didn't want to be the dad. I was like, I just um, no, I don't want to take them. My wife's making me take them. With Matt Adams below dramatic.

But in that I really didn't. I was just crispy. And I wasn't thinking the best. But I was like, Okay, fine, I'll take them. So we take the kids to retreat, they end up having an amazing time. But even though I didn't want to go, I'm waiting to pick them up. Right. And I'm at this great place called Community Pizza. And I meet these this really fun couple. Everywhere I go with the kids, they sense my kid energy or something. And kids are always wanting to talk to me. And so this pizza place has this setup where they have these long picnic tables. And they see like two different groups at one long picnic table. So you can have a group of eight people at one picnic table, or if you're a group of four, you get one half and then the other group of four gets the other half. Well, I'm by myself. So I'm on the one half solo, just having a you know, having a drink and relaxing. I got my journal and writing and still working out all my Everfree and stuff. And this cute young couple is sitting there. He's got adorable little kids probably 18 months. And I kind of wave and smile and the kids start talking to me, you know, and the lady's like, I'm so sorry, we won't buy this and it's okay. I love kids. It's fine. The kids always talk to me. We just start chit chatting, hey, what do you live here is like no, like, you should move here. So well. We've been looking we can't find a you know, house and she's awesome. Some of our neighbors just took their house off the market. But I know they were trying to sell but they didn't quite get what they wanted. So they took it off the market, they're gonna lease it, maybe they'd sell so like, check it out. That was a Sunday, I pick you up from the airport, like, Hey, I got a lead on the house. Let's check it out. Call the realtor. We saw it the next day. And we're like, buy this house. So we put an offer on it right away.

It was so cool, because we had a deck on our master bedroom in Bozeman, Montana. And we had to tear the deck off because it was rotted through. So when we get to this house in the master bedroom, right off of the door, there's French doors and you walk out kind of thing. Yeah, you walk out onto a deck outside our master bedroom, over the treetops. Oh, it's been redeemed. We felt like we lost a lot of things. And when really and that was a real, as you call a kiss from the King about how, you know, just those little details are important. So we do right we find the house, it looks great. It's a little above what we think we can afford. But it's close enough. We're like, let's see what the offer looks like. I think we can pull this off. Are we able to put the software in the house. And then six days later, what happens?

I go in for a routine mammogram and get the results back and find out that I have breast cancer. So when are we starting that I knew it's going to be better than you think season? Is this what better loks like, I thought? And it was it was shocking. I was by myself. And I could barely drive because I was just really, really upset. And it was kind of upset that I don't experience often. And so it was almost like my husband was worried. He's like, do I need to come get you and you pull over? I pulled over and you came and met me. And we just cried together? Because basically at that point it was not that it was cancer. They found a mass. That's right. We didn't know that was the first step but it was the devastation of finding a mass and not knowing and then the biopsies happened. Yeah. And then they confirmed it. So it was I want to tell that story how we did that. But yeah, for me, it was just really disappointing and frustrating. And not better than we thought. Actually.

Yeah. So here we are. Irregular mammogram. I remember the restaurant you pulled over right in the became the pKa gallery area. And devastated, we just cried. And I was like how can we what does this mean? It's not gonna be cancer. It's gonna mean all the fear that comes with that. Shock. And I'm like, You got to be kidding me. Yeah, we just put this contract on the house, like we're gonna, like, I thought this is supposed to be the resting time, I thought this is going to be we're getting out of the trauma and into some place of peace and rest. And that's what we're really supposed to be. It's a small town. It's beautiful. It's quiet, like lots of questions for the Lord. Yeah. It was hard.

It was really hard.

So we get our best wits about us, we pray. And again, you know, Everfree is the inner healing and deliverance prayer ministry. And so the tools that we use in these prayer appointments, we constantly use in our marriage. What lies are we hearing? What are the fears? Jesus, where are you all I mean, repeat, like, I'm just cycling constantly trying to just sort that out. And I remember, like, Okay, I remember being in the place to get the biopsy, and it was not a good experience. The doctor was not helpful. Just probably scientifically a wonderful physician, but terrible bedside manner. Yeah.  Because to me, the medical professionals have to separate themselves from the emotion and I get that. And so for them, this is just a routine biopsy. But I'm sitting with you as your husband, and I'm watching them violate your breast. Hmm. And that was devastating. Yeah. It was the first of many things that would be that way. But what, as we're kind of entering in that space, I mean, we hated the environment, what were you thinking and feeling in the space, because I remember it partially, when we're sitting in the waiting room. And of course, you're seeing in the same facility, it's that where they do the chemotherapy as well. So you're seeing a variety of women, ages, sizes, shapes, hair, no hair, some looking very, very sickly, others looking fresh. But it's a heavy place when you go to these oncology visits, an especially heavy place, and it's a lot. So, what was, I mean, what were you feeling? That's my man, I'm just the husband, not just the husband, but I'm saying like that you're my flesh. And I'm watching this happen to you. And I'm like, This is not okay. What are you feeling? What are you thinking in that space?

I think I was feeling numb, and, and overwhelmed by all the information that was being thrown at me. That's why I needed you to be there. There was a nurse there, the doctor wasn't great. But the nurse that was there was amazing. I can't even remember her name, but she was so gentle and kind.

I'm gonna pause you there. Because as you say that I think nurses are angels, or some nurses are angels, because there are a couple of nurses that I'm thinking as soon as you said, nurses, three different nurses popped into my mind. And we had great physicians too. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, three nurses pop up. So sorry for the tangent. But yes, I forgot this nurse and I had an encounter with her. And I'm wanting to talk about my faith pretty quickly, especially when I'm in a desperate situation. And I was like, okay, the Lord must really trust me with the story, if this is what he's having me walk through. And I hate the story of Job, because I don't really feel like I get enough answers for all the unknowns that happened to him in Scripture. But I did know that he was giving me an opportunity to share my faith with this nurse, and with others. And so that's just where I thought maybe he's going to use me in this. Because I'm not going to waste it. And he knows I won't, I'm not going to waste this story.

No, no. And for whatever reason, the Lord has made us transparent and vulnerable. People have been very affirming of that in the midst of our ministry. And I don't think that we chose to do that. I don't feel like I always just felt like I just don't know how any other way to be. Right. So we do, we really trust that in the midst of an Everfree calling in the ministry that God's called us to, that because that, he made us vulnerable. I'm a What You See Is What You Get guy and sometimes it comes out a little too bullish, a little too strong. Because I'm opinionated, and I'm a big personality and your tender and you're a big personality too. But you're the Compassionate One. And I'm not I'm compassionate, but you have deep, deep empathy. And so it's just, it's so conflicting, but we're like, Okay, God, I don't understand this. This is not what I thought rest was going to look like.

But we're waiting on the biopsy results, but we already know the answer. We already sensed that we knew this is gonna be breast cancer and we didn't want to get that answer. We are at my in laws house with my kids there and my in laws are there. And so, Keith had the wisdom to get into a hotel the night before we knew we were going to get the results. And it was a good a good idea to be separated and away and prayerful as a couple.

Because I mean, the memory of being in that hotel room is burned in my mind. Yeah, right. Yeah. And again, that was I think, the Holy Spirit to do that, because I'm not that smart. I wouldn't have thought that through. Yeah. But like, not being in my parents house and forever associating this couch, or this room of their house as the place we got the call.

That's right. And you went and took care of the kids and left me the hotel room? Well, we got

the hotel room first and then got the call. Yeah, that was the first thing that happened, right. And I actually, I had called and talked to the manager. And I was like, hey, a very unusual situation here. Here's why I need to room is there any way we can check in like, early nine o'clock in the morning, because we need a 24 hour stay. But we're gonna get this phone call at like, 10/10:30. And he was very, very clear. He said, Yes, sir. I understand that. 100% Let's, we'll get you in right away. They did. So we're praying in the room, and then we get the call.

Yeah. And I think we were both not surprised, because we were prepared. But it was still like, Okay, what we now have to accept the fact that we have a journey, that's that we don't know how it's going to look. But I felt like I sensed the Lord saying, Have your friends worship over this, worship over you, and worship over this diagnosis, worship over your family and your ministry and your marriage. And I happen to know, almost, like 10 worship leaders, people that sing and worship and just, it was unbelievable. And so I reached out to all of them. And they would send me songs in prayer. And it was really a beautiful, intimate moment with the Lord and what worship means. And I've never felt so cared for by the Holy Spirit through that.

It was very unusual experience. Yeah. Because I just remember, we knew it, when the Lord was so clear, we knew it was cancer before we got the call, but then we get the call. And I just remember your face, he just melted. And I melted, and we just wept and held each other laying in that bed and just not understanding, you know, you have emotions right now, I wasn't expecting that. I think because we knew there was resolve. But I'm thinking, why, you know, like, why is this happening? This is not supposed to happen. My wife is young, and she's beautiful. And she's not supposed to get cancer, certainly not in her breasts. And so, fortunately, the day had some tasks. And for me, that ended up being good. We had, you know, shared our thoughts that it might be cancer with a few people and some people had encouraged us to seek the Lord about, you know, forgiveness, if there's any unforgiveness or just kind of making amends in relationships that we would. The encouragement that we got, it was a little bit fumbly the way it was received and spoken. But basically, the message was, you know, come into this journey with a cleansed plate, if you will, or with short accounts; if there's anything between you and others, reconcile, reconcile if you can get it out there. And not in a morbid way, not like because you may pass but in the in the sense of like, just enter into this healing journey with openness. So, we have the hotel room, I've got to go do some kid errands. There's a doctor's appointment that we couldn't change for Olivia at that time. And then why don't you just share whatever is appropriate to share about your journey of just reconciliation? Because it was a powerful time for you to reach out to some and it was received well. You know, I mean, what what do you feel like it's appropriate to share about some of those phone calls? Because this, you know, some of those phone calls are sensitive, because they're about reconciliation, meaning, I don't know that you should share the details of what the calls were, who they were even to. What was that? I would say that let me ask this way. What was your experience? What are you experiencing and feeling after the diagnosis as you made those calls? Let me ask it that way.

I felt like I was being obedient to what the Lord was calling me to do and that I could trust his outcome. And so, I was making phone calls with people that I hadn't talk to in a while, people that I hadn't reconciled things in a while and, and I just I, there's a lot of misunderstanding that was interfering. And I was just wanting to get rid of the interference. And so, I felt like I really was given this time alone with the Lord. And he was prompting me to reach out to certain people and just tell them how much I love them and how sorry I am for anything that's come between us and what my desire was in the future to step up around the misunderstandings and be in relationship with friends and family. So it was, it was a very intimate time with the Lord. But it also brought closure. And it was exactly what I was feeling prompted to do.

So, yeah, it was a powerful part. And powerful, not because everyone read, not because there was like, it was a it was a reconciliation when everybody responded. Well, it's not about that. It's not that it didn't all go the way you'd hoped necessarily with some of the relationships but the journey of it and the process of it was. I think another part of us understanding forgiveness, understanding healing, understanding inner healing and deliverance, prayer, discipleship. I mean, the core of inner healing, when we talk about inner healing prayer, it is the inside, it's the inner man if you will, woman, man, woman but inner man in reconciling the wounding of the inner man with Jesus so once you meet Jesus, your salvation is intact, and then your sanctification journey begins and you speak up, you wanna become more like Jesus. And that's not just behavior management, but it's a true transformation of the heart and the mind. Well, if our hearts and our minds are holding on to brokenness of the past, that keeps us away from a fuller relationship with Jesus. There's, I don't think this side of heaven that there's no one's perfect that I know. Right? So, we're constantly yielding parts of the flesh. We're constantly taking on the mind of Christ, we're constantly, like, things come up that we don't know are still wounding us. And so the inner healing part of this is like, Okay, we've dealt with the past stuff as best we have that point. And now we're getting wounded in lifetime again. Yeah, you know, and it's a big one, like the big one. Freedom from the church, that termination process mega-wound for me, yeah. And us as a family. And then the wound of moving out of our house in the tension of the transition. And then, here we are, we're still living in my parents house. We've got a contract on the house. We don't know what that means. And now we're in this place. So now we have to tell the kids. And it was the spring, and I'll never forget this.  We're driving home. Well, we sit the kids down, we take them to a restaurant. So, we need to talk about something. And we share with you that we know mom's sick. And I’ll then forget Cole looking at me and saying is it cancer is right. Yeah, it is. And then he said, You're not gonna die, are you?

And Olivia, at the time had a friend whose mom had also been battling breast cancer. And so, it was very real to her because this friend had been vulnerable with her about her journey. And so, we share the news. We try to be as, you know, open and comfortable and confident; we can say we don't know what this means yet. But mom's gonna be okay. We're gonna do the things. But the beauty of God's grace is He goes before us -- there's so many little details that were so powerful, because it's Ash Wednesday, I don't even know. I didn't even know -- How did I not notice that's when we're leaving the restaurant? And we're trying to be brave, United Methodist Church was on the side of the road doing drive-by-ashes. She was amazing.

Pulling over the side of the road and pull it over at a gas station to step out and this lovely pastor stepped out. I just said, Thank you for being here. We just told our kids that my wife has cancer and she administered the ashes and it was beautiful. I mean, probably the most holy administration of ashes that we experienced. The kids didn't get out or Megan, it's kind of too much for them to kind of deal with and process but we got in the car, and then we went home. And my parents were just so supportive and so gracious, to give us space and to help us and did so much to take care of our dogs and our kids, to give us the alone adult time and to go to doctor's appointments and things like that. And so, I called our realtor, and I asked our realtor to negotiate. We negotiated. Well, the family is great. But this awesome, amazing family and I reached out to them through our realtor, I said, Hey, the house was empty at the time. And I said, Hey, we know we're not closing, is there any way we can rent the house, my wife's just been diagnosed with cancer, we really need to get the house set up so that she can have a place to recover. And they were very gracious, gave us a great deal to move in early. It was good for them. It's good for us. And, and we moved in spring break.

My four girl friends dropped everything --  we were planning a girl retreat and they dropped everything and ended up coming to me. And it was actually the same weekend that we received the keys for the house. And so my girlfriends and I all went and open up the house and blessed and prayed over every room. And I just was so thankful for the time with them. And the ability to step into a home and bless it with people that love us so much. And so, I have heard that if you want to experience love, get cancer, which is an insane thing to connect. But I hate it.

I hate the sound of it. But it's true.

I can't believe how much love I experienced through the journey of breast cancer surgeries. And just the friends that would just drop everything and come and serve and be present. And that was started with getting the keys to the house and preparing for the season of breast cancer and surgeries. So I feel thankful for this home that we're in now. And for how we got the keys to the house.

So I agree with that. Yeah, so we get the keys. And now it's spring break, 2020. Yeah, and if you're paying attention friends, and I know many of you are, our spring break and COVID. Our dear friend COVID-19 Oh my goodness, COVID paid the world a visit.

So we hustle we're hustling, right? So, our kids and they get off school for the week. Like this is perfect time. Thank you. There's perfect timing. We got the keys, I get a truck, we hire some help from this day laborer place that was part of the city of Austin and set up. These great guys that helped us load the truck and we get all the stuff in and we just work like dogs, you know, the kids are trying to figure out the neighborhood, we find a local pool for them to swim and the neighbors got a pool, we meet them and we get in, we just hustle, hustle, hustle. And then in the middle of the hustle, we get moved in, we start staying at the house and then the shutdown happens. And so our poor kids didn't ever get to go back to their schools and say goodbye to their friends. Another trauma and wounding for our treasure, no closure, online school is just terrible, our kids are having some struggles along the way. We're not going to share our kids struggles here in the podcasts in specific terms for their privacy and protection, but we're going through struggles in the midst of that. So here we are. We're doing online school for the rest of the year. And in the blessing that Megan's got so used to this 45 minute drive into ministry that we moved to Wimberley. We were actually only a 35 minute drive. And so Megan, so used to 45 minutes, 35 minutes felt like Yes, great. It was awesome. And so in that place, you know, here is COVID. Right, and now COVID hits. Yeah. And we have this diagnosis. And then we have waiting.

And now I need to get a breast surgeon and an oncologist and all these doctors that I've never even considered and Olivia has a friend whose mom went through breast cancer, who already had amazing doctors that were working with her so I reached out to them and they ended up In my doctor's

It was a gift to have her. Because I mean, so if you haven't had the circumstance to deal with a family member, or close family member getting cancer, it's such a well studied disease now. And they have lots of resources. That's the benefit. The negative of that is, they give you what feels like, it's almost two and a half inches wide binder, right? And they say, here's what you need to know about your diagnosis.  And you just, it's just, it's wonderful to have so many resources. But like, when you're in the shock of hearing this information, like a book, especially for an add creative, like me, a book filled with information, and information and things to do and things. And all these things, it is completely overwhelming. Yeah. And so I think one of the blessings of the cancer journey for us has been, we are we have been fairly in the moment present kind of people. But it has forced us to be even more that way to where, like I said it before now, but I would say it's one day at a time, one day at a time. But the cancer like literally it forced us in COVID to be one day at a time because you deal with the stress of all this stuff and you don't know what it's going to mean, you don't know how big the mass is actually going to be, is it a lumpectomy? Is it a mastectomy? Like what do we do? Just what are you going to do to my wife or the husband part what and all that and, and the biggest punch to my gut at that time was then one, you have cancer in your body, like we've got to get you signed up for surgery sooner than later; you need to make a decision. So we're feeling that pressure, right? So we then we get a date for your initial, we weighed all the options and looked at that and we wanted to be conservative, you want to be conservative. So you decided mastectomy instead of lumpectomy. So we go, Okay, we're gonna do this. And then part of the journey that I think is -- I want our friends to hear -- we met with the general surgeon first. We won’t name her just for privacy reasons for her own sake, but she was great. It's not that I don't want to name her. What was cool was one of my friends went to high school with her.

We did get an extra connection, which is great. But here we are, you know, we are supernatural believers, like we are filled with the Spirit believers. And we've seen miracles, we've seen healings, right. So I, you know, in my zeal, I'm ready to pray about this thing. And I'm ready to see the Lord show up. Right. Yeah. And so I did, in faith. I told our doctor, I said, Dr. Nessa, you need to know we're kind of those weirdo Christian people. And what I mean is like, we really believe God's going to show up in this and I believe that my wife can be healed and I'm praying for that mass to just disappear. And she said, Mr. Peeler, I feel I'm in support with you. I'll pray with you. But my experience is we still do the surgeries. And so like, Keith Peeler takes that as a personal God challenge. Oh, really? Well, you don't know how I can pray. And I don't mean that to sound arrogant. But I believe in prayer. And I know that I love to pray and I know that God shows up so I was like, we're gonna pray this and I mean, amazing miracle and God's gonna show up and it's gonna be a testimony and Dr. So and So is going to see that our God is this big...and I prayed. And literally, you know, we get the surgery set up. And I'm praying, like, we're not gonna need the surgery because we're gonna pray it's gonna come out, it's gonna be a miracle. And we set it up, and then we come back, and they call us. And when they tell us they cancelled the surgery because of COVID. And they said that it wasn't a medical necessity, even though and they were taking it. Three to six months. Wait, yeah. And they had already said that it was a medical necessity need to get it out right away. So to gear up for a surgery that gets canceled. And then it was exhausting. And so keep an eye on it.  We often will get away for a night or two just to listen and pray and cry. And so we got an Airbnb near Wimberley and just prayed through what the Lord was requiring of us. And we knew we were confident that we were making the right decision to do a mastectomy. And so I don't know it was a week later they called and said you can be here if you can make it and it went from wait three to six months. So ,you let your guard down. Then just kidding. Like it's next Tuesday. Mean whiplash and trauma, nuts and you can't do that to somebody! No.

And when you get a diagnosis of breast care, they say you're basically going to need to give it a year to get through all the surgeries, a year to get through all the treatment. And so your body is going to have to endure a lot for the next year. But if you can give us that year, we can see healing for you or hope for healing. And so the mastectomy happened normally, with a mastectomy, you stay in the hospital. They sent me home because of COVID. Yep. And once again, we had friends, family, drop everything. And because of COVID, they did not get on a plane, they drove 24 hours, 12 hours from Bowling Green, Kentucky, to Wimberly and they were anointed to care for us and our family and lavish ways. And so having them there, Stephanie's mom had breast cancer, so she knew the journey, and she knew how to take care of me. And it was very helpful for you because Stephanie is like a sister to us, my sister, and and Randy, her husband was hanging blinds and washing windows and what to serve. And so we experienced the first surgery, and a way that we can look back on how painful it was, but also, what a gift. Stephanie and Randy were to us and that season.

Yeah, um we're gonna talk about sensitive things. And we will mark this in the front of this podcast, but we want to be vulnerable and not grotesque. But I will tell you, as a husband, there was nothing more difficult than seeing my wife's violated body by this surgery. And the stress that I experienced as a non detail oriented person having to keep track of lots of medicines and regimens and stress. And there was one point where I'm doing your drains, and I'm trying to empty from all of the drainage that comes from a surgery like this. It's not uncommon, for different ports for drains, and I remember just being on the bed one point just almost snapping and Stephanie being like, Hey, I got this, it's okay, why don't you get to go rest, I got this. It was such a gift to just be able to breathe as I felt so much anxiety and pain and stress in my body and just looking at you. And I mean, fortunately, I'm thankful that I'm not bothered by physical things. It didn't ever, for me, and, you know, husbands, I want you to hear this. It's when you take those vows in sickness, men, you know, and in health, it's like, you see your, your wife's body damaged this way. And it's hard, but it never changed my draw to you. But I had to process that, like I had to what was this gonna mean for us? What was this gonna mean for intimacy, what is all that? But the gift again, the provision. And I think I don't think that we are special. I don't think that we're more anointed than any other person on the planet, I do think that we have been gifted with an opportunity to see and be thankful for the things that God's given us along the way. I'm thankful that God gave us a perspective to see the gifts in this journey as they were happening, because it would have been very easy in that time for me, I mean, I could tell this story with all the negatives, and I could have missed what God was doing in me, I could have missed what God was doing in you, I could have missed what God has been doing in our children in the midst of that.

So friends, I want to encourage you, whatever journey you're on, with a sickness or a trauma or a death, or a loss or grief, or whatever it is. People tend to do one of two things. They either do the why, and or it's not fair to say one of two things. I'm going to paint this very grossly and I hope you'll hear my heart. People go into the why God, and they get so mad at God that they don't ever see the goodness of his presence in their journey of pain. I'm not faulting those people. When I say that, I'm just saying that's an observation. Then some people don't acknowledge on the opposite side, don't acknowledge the pain and just kind of go into this Pollyanna. We're just gonna trust the Lord. It's gonna be fine. Right? And it's like, no, no, no, you're pretending things are ok.

So I just feel so thankful that in this journey, one, my prayers were not answered. In the way that I wanted them answered. And some of the difficulty of conversations that we've had around, you know, the ministry of healing, with the ministry of inner healing and deliverance is every one of us, including me, we want to find the right formula of prayer and submission or study or memorization, or we want to find, Lord, what are you? What do I need to do to fix this? And I was like, I'm gonna pray that Joker out there, because we're gonna like our designated testimony. The Holy Spirit did lead me to those prayers. Yeah, the Holy Spirit, didn't prompt me and say, lay hands on your wife, anoint her with oil, and she will be healed. I have heard that from the Holy Spirit and done that and seen people healed. Yeah, I've seen I've been in hospitals, when the Lord's like, pray, you need to go to this hospital, go see this guy that you don't know, or barely know, and lay hands on him, and tell him he's gonna be home in six days, or actually tell him the bleeding is gonna stop today. And lay hands on and then internal bleeding will stop. supernaturally. That was the Holy Spirit leading me to do that. Keith Peeler wanted a miracle. I'm not saying God doesn't. God didn't give the miracle because I wanted it. And He didn't. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, I don't understand. There's great mystery in God's healing power. And His attentiveness to His children, and the fleeing of evil powers in the name of Jesus. There is mystery, there are structure and things that we understand about the Kingdom of God, our authority and His name, our identity in Christ. But there is not a formula to give us what we want. Because what I wanted was healing. I wanted the miracle, I wanted a transformation...I wanted. I wanted Jesus's name to be high and lifted up because a miracle happened. But that's not what God allowed.

And what I got was connection with other women that had gone through the same journey. And they prayed with me and encouraged me and prepared me for what was next. And I had people from all over praying and sending cards and flowers and prayer blankets that they would sew in these knots. And every knot in the blanket was a prayer from someone. And I had that happen multiple times. And so I experienced care from the body in a way that I've never experienced in my life. And it was a lifeline

and care in the body is important. Yeah, hear that phrase. It wasn't cracked here from one church. And I'm going to tangent here a little bit, I want to challenge you, listeners. If you're putting the pressure of the kingdom on the particular body of Christ that you're a member of, you need to think bigger. Because we talked about what it means to be the body of Christ. It is all of God's children. And I'm not going to get into the why we have different denominations conversation. That's not what we're here to talk about. But I can say with confidence that the kingdom of God and your connection with Jesus is about the body. And the people that you both invite into your life. And the people that you then extend your life to that is way more important than the Bible study that you go to or the church you attend. That's right.

Right. What we're talking about is a life transforming 100% radical commitment to following Jesus and accepting whatever He's given you. And using whatever you can whatever resources you've been given to honor God, it's all Him. It's either all Him or it's not. And so the body and the way that God's uniquely given us this experience has been that we didn't have a church. My church was Highland Park, Presbyterian Church and Dallas. We were still members there as we left and went to Montana, and came back down. But they couldn't be there. No, there was not a local church that we've been a part of that that was quote unquote, supposed to care for us, right. But people from the Ministry did.

And they showed up and I had a friend that cooked meals and cleaned the house the whole time. And then I had another friend who gave me my showers that I needed and helped me that way. There was one friend that stood at the end of the bed and tucked Keith into bed and hovered like an angel, praying for us and just praying God's presence over us as we would go to sleep and different friends were right there right when we needed them. And I'm so grateful for their care for me and for us and our family.

Yep. So this is gonna wrap up episode two of season two Waiting on Wimberley. And what revealed was not what we thought. Still not the life that God was promising still not the it's going to be better than you think -- it was a cancer journey.

It was the beginning. So friends, thanks for listening in to episode two, we're glad that you're with us, we want to you to know that you're gonna have questions and thoughts along the way. And so reach out to us on the website. If you want to check in. It's meghan@everfree.us Make sure it's dot us. And then it's keith@everfree.us you want to reach out to either one of us or both of us about questions about your journey of grief or cancer or whatever is appealing about this conversation or whatever is confusing. We want to be able to share what we've learned, we do not pretend to be experts. But we are seasoned in this and we do walk confidently in the power of the Holy Spirit. Because of this even more. So we'll wrap up episode number two any wrapping thoughts before we share the next episode, dear?

No, I just really hope that you guys know that God is faithful in the midst of trial and that he will not abandon us and I have experienced that firsthand.

So friends, thank you. We'll see you in the next episode. Bye bye. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on the web@www.everfree.us. If you'd like to support this ministry in this podcast, click on the donate button in the upper right hand corner. See you next time.